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Charles Bukowski is almost as well known for his legendary drinking as for his great body of writing. He was a lifelong drinker – alcoholic if we’re being blunt about it – and indeed enjoyed promoting the consumption of alcohol.
Comedian Doug Stanhope, a Bukowski fan as well as an avid drinker himself, recently went on the Dr. Drew podcast, where he pitched his Dream Team wishlist of who he’d like to see on the now off the air television show Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. Charles Bukowski made the list.
Stanhope also reveals that he has a friend who looks like Bukowski, and a friend who looks like Dr. Drew, and that he wanted to put them together and make a YouTube video of this idea. Dr. Drew find it funny, and even offered to take part.
Here’s hoping it happens, and of course if it does we’ll share it here on Bukowski Quotes.
The other members of the Doug Stanhope Celebrity Rehab… Dream Team include: Hunter S. Thompson, Dean Martin, Timothy Leary, and W.C. Fields. Of course, even if the show weren’t off the air, none of these could happen as all of these men are deceased.
Stanhope has expressed his distaste for Dr. Drew generally, and Celebrity Rehab specifically, a number of times. He even has a bit on his album Before Turning The Gun On Himself called “Dr. Drew Is To Medicine What David Blaine Is To Science.” This made the podcast much anticipated.
Here’s a link to the episode. The Celebrity Rehab… Dream Team talk starts around the 27th minute:
Transcript:
Doug Stanhope: I have in my notes, if I can find them, I put down my Celebrity Rehab Dream Team. Let me throw out mine if you wanna Tweet –
Dr. Drew: (Laughs) You’re killing me.
Stanhope: No, like people I would like to see you have on Celebrity Rehab…
Dr. Drew: Oh, for me to treat.
Stanhope: …look at with a straight face, and I have Hunter S. Thompson…
Dr. Drew: Oh yeah, that’d be pretty tough.
Stanhope: …Dean Martin…
Dr. Drew: That’d be tough.
Stanhope: Tim-
Dr. Drew: Although I hear Dean Martin is not as much an alcoholic as he played.
Stanhope: Don’t know.
Dr. Drew: Yeah.
Stanhope: Either way, if he could play it as well as he did on real life on your show –
Dr. Drew: I know – I heard the “T” I know it’s gotta be Timothy Leary next.
Stanhope: Timothy Leary…
Dr. Drew: I met him. He was on the radio show back years ago.
Stanhope: Loveline?
Dr. Drew: Yeah.
Stanhope: Okay.
Dr. Drew: Yeah, Loveline, years ago, and he was very strange. He used to be like a scientist. He claimed he invented group therapy basically, and he was so f_cked up by the time I met him he couldn’t put headphones on his head. He couldn’t conceptually figure that out.
Stanhope: Wow.
Dr. Drew: It was something. So there you go, would have been tough to treat Timothy, yes.
Stanhope: Alright, alright…and Bukowski and W.C. Fields.
Production assistant: I would love to see you and Bukowski.
Dr. Drew: W.C. Fields was –
Stanhope: Here, I have a friend – this is one of those things I wish I put together – I have a friend, a sketch comic named Alfredo Tryferis…Alfredo looks exactly like Dr. Drew and my friend Floyd looks exactly like Bukowski. And I wanted to put them together and do this as a YouTube sketch, but the Bukowski looking guy is like Bukowski and there’s no way he could act for a f_cking second.
Dr. Drew: That’s awesome. Maybe I’ll do it with you, with him, with you – I’ll do it.
Stanhope: If you produce it, I can put them together.
Now, Charles Bukowski wouldn’t have been caught dead on a show like Celebrity Rehab… but what do you think he would have done if he had been on the show? Can you even imagine it? Let us know in the comments below.
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The rehab facility is in Pasadena, not far from the Santa Anita racetrack where Hank spent many pleasant afternoons. What a waste of time it would seem to Bukowski to be so close to the track and those ice cold beers, talking about never drinking again.
“He used to be like a scientist. He claimed he invented group therapy basically…” — He didn’t used to be “like” a scientist, Dr. Drew – he WAS a scientist – and an incredibly exceptional one at that. And, uh, yeah, he DID invent group therapy. He also invented the Leary Interpersonal Diagnostic Test, which is still used by places like the CIA and FBI in screening potential employees, and in many state prison systems for inmate security risk assessment, and elsewhere. He was a lecturer at Harvard and oversaw a number of projects conducted by the Harvard Center for Research in Personality. He was also a Prof. at the UoC School of Medicine and a director of the psychological research division of the prestigious Kaiser Family Foundation. In short, Leary was a genius of exceptional caliber. And, he achieved much more in just about any five year span of his career that you care to point to than you ever have a hope of achieving in your entire lifetime, with your rather average history of being a rather average internist and your little TV shows.
Dr. Drew is really kind of a knob.